Month In Review: December 2016

December flew by. This month, I finished all of my classes for university and have officially completed my transcript! I won’t have my diploma until June 2017, but…

I’m done university!!!

I’m so thrilled to be done. It’ll be a tough road once I get into 2017. There are some administrative things that I need to do regarding my loan, which I’m not looking forward to. But I’m excited to set out on my journey into the workforce doing freelance projects.

Really, I spent most of the month in a blur. My dissociation has been very strong this month, along with my depression (both the mental illness depression and the return to my natural hormone cycle, since I stopped birth control last month). I did my studying and my exams, which all went well, and… can’t remember what else I did.

This week, I’ve been binge-watching a Chinese drama called Ice Fantasy (which you’d know if you follow me on Twitter #selfpromo), and let me tell ya… It has been incredible. I’ve been inspired by it so much. The show adapts a Chinese book, is produced in China, and stars an east-Asian cast (the main cast is all Chinese except for one Korean woman who has been phenomenal). It’s been refreshing to get away from all the European fantasy. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys fantasy.

I’m not going to talk much about Christmas. The holiday season is very, very difficult for me and my family. My main gift this year was a new keyboard. In October, the hand-me-down keyboard gave out, and I was borrowing one from my boyfriend’s family. But now… I have a new, very shiny mechanical keyboard. I picked the Corsair Strafe with brown switches so I could light up the keys differently depending on what I do. (Writing at night, the shortcuts I use the most in Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign… That kind of thing!) It’s so nice to have my own keyboard for the first time in my life. I’ve shared family computers, and I’ve been given hand-me-down keyboards when I got my desktop. So I love having a keyboard that only I will wear down.

I’m visiting family until some time in January, so my blog posts will be a bit less until then. I’ll probably get a New Year’s goals post out, like I did last year. I’m doing goals differently this year.

May we all find peace in some form, whether it is hope for the future or acceptance of the present, as we reach the end of 2016. ♥

Month In Review: November 2016

Thin wooden boards with contrasting light and dark brown colouring.

This past month, I took a break from the blog and social media, continued from October. I’d like to say that it made my life better, but it didn’t make much of a difference. A lot of other factors affected my health and well-being through November, so social media didn’t… have the same place it did before? I took the break in October because I was getting very attached to it and wasting a lot of time on it. But for November, it fell to the wayside very naturally and all my activity on it since then has felt okay.

I still miss my rabbit so much, but this isn’t my first grief and it’s by far the healthiest mourning I’ve done.

My month is a bit of a haze. I’m not sure what exactly I’ve been up to. I’ve mostly worked on school and tried not to let my body fall into ruin. I know I spent a lot of time entertaining myself with the Internet and video games. It was hard to get through the middle of my semester—I often lose motivation nearing the end of any type of task, and university has been no different. But! Only a week of classes, some exams, and then I’m done! I still need to wait to find out how to apply to graduate. I recently submitted a few forms to the Financial office at the university, since I’m not registering for classes in the Winter semester, and am waiting to see how they update my file. Unfortunately, the online applications to graduate aren’t open yet. This has made me incredibly frustrated, since I want to get the process going now and be on the way to officially finishing.

In fact, I’m so excited to be done school that I made a list of all the activities I like to do. Some of them, such as the writing and reading, are less “leisure” or “free time” activities once I’ll be done with school. Those activities are the ones that need priority. I’m so accustomed to setting aside all my hobbies during school that the free time will inevitably make me feel terrible for doing any of them. I need to remember, though: I have goals and it is productive to do anything that works toward those goals. Reading will no longer be leisurely. Writing will no longer be pushed to my “free time.” I’m so, so excited to be free of the educational institution. I’ve spent all of my life in schools and it’s time to get.

In December, I’m excited for…

  • Finishing my last semester of university (classes end on December 7 and my last exam is on December 21)!
  • Seeing my family again.
  • Taking the train in business class for the first time, which means I get a meal and, so my boyfriend says, wine.
  • Starting a new bullet journal! The 100-page, 6 x 9 inch book from Productive Luddite will run out by the time I finish classes, so I’ll start the new one in January for the new year! (Expect a blog post on that, heck yes).
  • Returning to blogging.

Month In Review: July 2016

Thin wooden boards with contrasting light and dark brown colouring.

In July, I didn’t do everything I wanted to do. At best, maybe I did half of what I wanted to it. Going into July, I wanted to write more—and I certainly didn’t. I don’t know why. I’m not looking for a why. An explanation for the past is only an attempt to seek justification; to remove guilt. I don’t feel bad for not writing for almost the entire month. Instead, I feel like I’m in a better place to know what I can and can’t handle, and what I do and don’t prioritise. Writing wasn’t the only goal I fell short on, but it doesn’t matter what else there was.

A new month. Rent and bills have been paid. Time to trek on.

Here are some of my favourite posts from this month:

A Typical Girl Day, July 25
Bullet Journal 101: Finding Inspiration, July 22

Since I was out of town for the start of the month, I took a break from blogging (and the Internet as a whole).

A single adjective for July was courageous

I didn’t do anything outrageously brave, but I took chances. I let myself fail one of my personal goals, but I’m not kicking myself for it—kicking myself for failing something doesn’t make me win at it. Duh. Right now, I feel a bit like Elle Woods: taking rejection and failed expectations, and using them to motivate.

It’s impossible to be at 100% all the time. The people who are at 100% all the time look like they’re at 110%—that they have “hustle”—but I’m not one of those people. And I don’t want to be. I like taking a weekend to binge watch all five Twilight Saga films. I may not like lying on my bed resisting destructive urges, but I have to in order to not follow through on those urges.

In August, I look forward to

  • following through on my goals for writing, reading, and design
  • seeing my client’s book get to print

And that’s it.

I don’t have much going on in terms of visiting, events, or birthdays. My brother’s birthday is on August 26, but I won’t be able to visit his grave and say hello and “You would have been 24 today.” I could try to go up on the train and have my room mate look after my rabbit for a weekend. I’m not thinking on it too much. This past week was the anniversary of his death and funeral, so… I’ve had my fill of mourning.

Month In Review July 2016

An Introduction

Here are some facts about me. Some will be more insightful than others, but all reveal something about me:

  • I’d be okay with consuming all my meals if they’ve been put into a blender. Saves me from flossing, right?
  • I enjoy dental hygiene, which includes flossing, so that’s why I’d only be “okay” surviving on smoothie’d food.
  • I’ll surprise you with my fashion knowledge. My mother has seamstress skills and in my youth I watched an exhausting amount of fashion TV shows.
  • My mother was emotionally abusive. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I just want her to be happy and let me live the rest of my life.
  • I cry easily at beautiful things, like animation, music, acting, writing, and nature. God, nature…
  • I don’t ascribe to a religion or believe in a formed version of “God,” but will respect religious beliefs as long as they aren’t preached to me or used as a method for people to be bigots.
  • I’m a writer. Poetry comes most easily to me, I study contemporary and classic literature at the University of Windsor (also: Spanish language and general linguistics because #nerd), but my heart lies with high fantasy novels.
  • I can’t eat more than, like, a cup of shellfish without getting disgusting digestive problems, which is a tragedy because I love shrimp and scallops and lobster and crab.
  • Self-diagnosed eating disorder and mild anxiety. Doctor-diagnosed and untreated depression (because I’m arrogant as fuck and have been dismantling my resistance to assistance).
  • Sometimes I’m really mean, but sometimes people are really rude. They balance each other out.

It’s nice to meet you. I’ll be blogging twice a week, covering topics about my life, maybe throwing in some recipes, some tips about university life, and a whole slew of writer’s whining and winning to make things interesting.