Month In Review: July 2018

This month, my therapist said very blankly, “You’re depressed.” He’s right. I’m still depressed. I’m having a bit of an identity crisis as well. This review is a little late into August, but that’s okay. I’ll have a recap of August soon too. Let’s get into what I remember about July.

A celebration: I’m still here and am definitely climbing out of my rock bottom. Slowly, very slowly, reaching up to the fresh air again.

A change: Preparing for moving again. Preparing for my family moving out of province. My mental health changing because of the stress and changes.

A conflict: I’m still struggling with the right dosage for my medication. I’m also trying to balance my health management with my creative projects, which has been hard to maintain.

A relief: I’ve found a medication dosage and frequency that works for my health, along with some short term therapy.

A regret: Lack of commitment to all my projects.

A random memory: I don’t have one. This is the part that upsets me the most. I don’t… really remember anything.

August means back to work, back to school, and back out in the world again. I’m trying to keep up.

Month In Review: July 2017

Time flew this month, wow! I can’t believe July is not only over, but we’re already three days into August. I’ll be glad once summer is over, to be honest. It’s too hot, too humid, and too lonely this time of year.

A celebration: Renovations started on the house and there has been lots of progress!

A change: My boyfriend and I ended our relationship.

A conflict: I started medication for my mental health and needed time adjusting to them.

A relief: My medication was pretty helpful! I’m going into the second month of them now and hoping for the best. There haven’t been many side effects since I started, too, so that’s also a relief.

A regret: I neglected my blog and my writing all over, so I feel guilty for making little progress on my novel and also not writing some of the posts I wanted to in July.

A random memory: I tweeted about this (see the moment here), but when I was doing yard work, there was a cute spider doing spider things. I’ve been practising more kindness toward bugs, since they were one of the things I immediately would scream at and try to kill. I have issues with being aggressive (and not in a good way), so being gentle with something that sued to make me impulsively want to kill it has been a great way in being gentler in the rest of my life.

I’m doing more work in August and trying not to think about the fall and winter. My home life is changing a lot once we get into the third quarter. October is going to be a busy month, along with my birthday month. I know that’s only two months ahead, but only a few months ago it was spring and I was moving back home from Windsor.

July 2017 Bullet Journal Spreads

Since I liked June’s layout so much, I did something very similar for July!

I started medication for my mental health just before the month started, so my biggest change is adding a symptom tracker for that.

I messed up on the calendar and did full boxes for the 7 x 6 dimensions, since I didn’t feel like using pencil and then erasing all the lines. I managed to save it with some artistic lettering and pretty new washi tape! It’s a good thing I had a short perseverance quote that I could smack into the bottom.

This month, instead of putting my goals and projects right into the journal, I’m using sticky notes so I can pull them out. They’re smaller and don’t get in the way like my notebook can, if I’m working at my desktop or my laptop. It’s been okay so far (I say, on the 3rd day into the month)—the stickiness is definitely lessening.

I have my mood tracking in the calendar, where the multiple colours are, and the legend on an index card in the front of my notebook near the key. Since the medication I’m on is specifically for moods (well, and other stuff), tracking my moods is going to be a more important part of my life. I’m glad I started doing it before the medication: it’s helped me reference highs and lows, my behaviour, and all that fun stuff to relay back to my doctor.

One other thing I did differently for July is set up all the weekly layouts in advance! That will save me time and decisions on the weekends now. I’ve enjoyed being able to use weekly layouts, instead of daily ones; it feels like I’m doing less during my day and thus everything is more important.

(Sharing on Pinterest helps out my blog!)

Month In Review: June 2017

June… Ahh, June. It’s hard for me to disconnect this month with the end of school, even though elementary/public and secondary school are way back in my history. We got a lot of rain this month. I enjoyed it, even if it was out of the ordinary and interfered with the amount of jogging I could fit in. This last week, the temperatures have spiked and we’re up past my comfort zone like we probably will be for the rest of summer. (I hate temperatures above 20*C.) On to July!

A celebration: My degree came in the mail, so I officially have the documentation that I paid an institution a lot of money and met some credentials.

A change: I started medication for my mental health, and I plan to blog a bit on that.

A conflict: Social media this month hasn’t benefited me the way I’d like it to, so I’ve thought about taking a hiatus from it in July.

A relief: My father secured financing for renovations on the house. He hopes to start them in the next month, so that means I’ll have work to do with him and see changes in the house!!

A regret: I forgot to blog for half of this month, oops!

A random memory: There was a spider in my bathroom that I decided not to kill on the spot. When I went back to the bathroom later, the spider had moved to the sink—a very difficult spot to manoeuver if you’re killing or not killing the spider. Since I had already seen the spider on the wall and decided I didn’t need to kill it (it wasn’t bothering anybody!), I didn’t want to try drowning it in the sink, either. I spent fifteen, maybe twenty, minutes trying to get the spider on a piece of paper and under a container so I could move it. I successfully put it outside near a small anthill, so hopefully it had a good lunch.

I do have blog posts planned for July, and I do want to get them up in a timely manner and not forget about them.

Month In Review: July 2016

Thin wooden boards with contrasting light and dark brown colouring.

In July, I didn’t do everything I wanted to do. At best, maybe I did half of what I wanted to it. Going into July, I wanted to write more—and I certainly didn’t. I don’t know why. I’m not looking for a why. An explanation for the past is only an attempt to seek justification; to remove guilt. I don’t feel bad for not writing for almost the entire month. Instead, I feel like I’m in a better place to know what I can and can’t handle, and what I do and don’t prioritise. Writing wasn’t the only goal I fell short on, but it doesn’t matter what else there was.

A new month. Rent and bills have been paid. Time to trek on.

Here are some of my favourite posts from this month:

A Typical Girl Day, July 25
Bullet Journal 101: Finding Inspiration, July 22

Since I was out of town for the start of the month, I took a break from blogging (and the Internet as a whole).

A single adjective for July was courageous

I didn’t do anything outrageously brave, but I took chances. I let myself fail one of my personal goals, but I’m not kicking myself for it—kicking myself for failing something doesn’t make me win at it. Duh. Right now, I feel a bit like Elle Woods: taking rejection and failed expectations, and using them to motivate.

It’s impossible to be at 100% all the time. The people who are at 100% all the time look like they’re at 110%—that they have “hustle”—but I’m not one of those people. And I don’t want to be. I like taking a weekend to binge watch all five Twilight Saga films. I may not like lying on my bed resisting destructive urges, but I have to in order to not follow through on those urges.

In August, I look forward to

  • following through on my goals for writing, reading, and design
  • seeing my client’s book get to print

And that’s it.

I don’t have much going on in terms of visiting, events, or birthdays. My brother’s birthday is on August 26, but I won’t be able to visit his grave and say hello and “You would have been 24 today.” I could try to go up on the train and have my room mate look after my rabbit for a weekend. I’m not thinking on it too much. This past week was the anniversary of his death and funeral, so… I’ve had my fill of mourning.

Month In Review July 2016

Month In Review: June 2016

Thin wooden boards with contrasting light and dark brown colouring.

Another month, another milestone, I suppose. I did a lot of reading this month, as well as a great amount of writing. I’ve been making progress. The #WriteChain has helped a bunch with keeping me going on my writing. Halfway into June, though, I cut back on the amount I was writing after I finished the first 1/3 of my WIP. I switched to doing some intensive research on religions and mythologies to help me with building a key aspect of the fantasy world. There are so many similarities between all these diverse religions! It’s incredible! The differences between them have also been inspiring. I’m progressing well with this rewrite of the book. I’m confident that I’ll be able to dive into revisions on this draft by the end of August.

One thing I aimed to do through June was my “30 Day Salad Challenge.” I didn’t do 30 days of salads, but I got really, really damn close. For a few days, I didn’t have the groceries to make salads, so that was alright. I think I replaced at least 5 meals every week with a salad. That’s an achievement considering I used to never eat salads unless I was ordering one at a restaurant. I made lots of homemade dressing with Greek yogurt and olive oil (plus other ingredients). I never realised Caesar dressing was simple to make, if you can skimp out on “authenticity” (/coughs at a raw egg yolk in the original recipe) and go for flavours.

Here are some of my favourite posts from June
A single adjective for June was sluggish.

Though the month seemed to go by quickly for me, each day was excruciating to get through. The heat makes me want to curl up on a train headed into a snowbank. The summer always makes me feel less productive, more cranky, and less excited. It’s a boring season filled with humidity and too many teenagers roaming around. I’ve also been plagued by headaches/migraines/cluster headaches (whatever the hell they are) once the average daily temperature reached a minimum 30 degrees Celsius (86 degrees Fahrenheit). I am not built for heat.

In July, I look forward to
  • seeing my oldest brother in the beginning of the month.
  • seeing my boyfriend for his birthday on July 5th.
  • going to the Royal Ontario Museum with my boyfriend.
  • starting design and formatting work for a local self-publishing author!
  • more writing—I have a very confident path for the book now that the scenes are in order and the beginning is completed.

Stay frosty, everyone. I know I’m trying to.

month in review june