Month In Review: July 2017

Time flew this month, wow! I can’t believe July is not only over, but we’re already three days into August. I’ll be glad once summer is over, to be honest. It’s too hot, too humid, and too lonely this time of year.

A celebration: Renovations started on the house and there has been lots of progress!

A change: My boyfriend and I ended our relationship.

A conflict: I started medication for my mental health and needed time adjusting to them.

A relief: My medication was pretty helpful! I’m going into the second month of them now and hoping for the best. There haven’t been many side effects since I started, too, so that’s also a relief.

A regret: I neglected my blog and my writing all over, so I feel guilty for making little progress on my novel and also not writing some of the posts I wanted to in July.

A random memory: I tweeted about this (see the moment here), but when I was doing yard work, there was a cute spider doing spider things. I’ve been practising more kindness toward bugs, since they were one of the things I immediately would scream at and try to kill. I have issues with being aggressive (and not in a good way), so being gentle with something that sued to make me impulsively want to kill it has been a great way in being gentler in the rest of my life.

I’m doing more work in August and trying not to think about the fall and winter. My home life is changing a lot once we get into the third quarter. October is going to be a busy month, along with my birthday month. I know that’s only two months ahead, but only a few months ago it was spring and I was moving back home from Windsor.

Month In Review: June 2017

June… Ahh, June. It’s hard for me to disconnect this month with the end of school, even though elementary/public and secondary school are way back in my history. We got a lot of rain this month. I enjoyed it, even if it was out of the ordinary and interfered with the amount of jogging I could fit in. This last week, the temperatures have spiked and we’re up past my comfort zone like we probably will be for the rest of summer. (I hate temperatures above 20*C.) On to July!

A celebration: My degree came in the mail, so I officially have the documentation that I paid an institution a lot of money and met some credentials.

A change: I started medication for my mental health, and I plan to blog a bit on that.

A conflict: Social media this month hasn’t benefited me the way I’d like it to, so I’ve thought about taking a hiatus from it in July.

A relief: My father secured financing for renovations on the house. He hopes to start them in the next month, so that means I’ll have work to do with him and see changes in the house!!

A regret: I forgot to blog for half of this month, oops!

A random memory: There was a spider in my bathroom that I decided not to kill on the spot. When I went back to the bathroom later, the spider had moved to the sink—a very difficult spot to manoeuver if you’re killing or not killing the spider. Since I had already seen the spider on the wall and decided I didn’t need to kill it (it wasn’t bothering anybody!), I didn’t want to try drowning it in the sink, either. I spent fifteen, maybe twenty, minutes trying to get the spider on a piece of paper and under a container so I could move it. I successfully put it outside near a small anthill, so hopefully it had a good lunch.

I do have blog posts planned for July, and I do want to get them up in a timely manner and not forget about them.

Month In Review: May 2017

Since I moved at the beginning of May, I had a lot to adjust to this month. I’m not sure how well I did, though, since it’s now the end of the month and I’m only just feeling settled. It’s hard to get into a routine when it’s so different to the routines you’ve had for years in school.

A celebration: My living expenses are next to nothing, since I’m living with my dad again.

A change: Well, I was still unpacking into the first week, so I guess my move—but mostly the season got warmer.

A conflict: Living with my family has proved to be a little difficult for me.

A relief: I found more resources for helping treat my mental health.

A regret: I didn’t put time toward my manuscript this month.

A random memory: A cashier at a convenience store, whose first language was definitely not English, said to me, “Have a happy day.” It made my morning, and I did have a happy day.

Onward to June. I’m hoping that this month I can really, actually, finally get revisions going on THE PILGRIMAGE. That’s really my main goal. My priorities are so shaken after moving and diving straight into work. I also have another project that I’m working on (that has been on the backburner for ~3 years) that has suddenly picked up momentum again.

Month In Review: April 2017

This post is written in advance, because as you’ll probably glance down to see, I move today! Lots of lugging boxes and a 5+ hour drive. I honestly enjoy packing and moving—it’s the unpacking that I hate. I like putting things away, but having to unpack furniture and arrange it… Not a fan. Anyway, April is done, unbelievably, and I’m looking forward to summer. I feel a lot of opportunity, even if I’m still being dragged down by negative thinking and whatnot.

A celebration: I am officially out of Windsor and done with university. I have my degree! (Well, almost. It will arrive in the mail, hopefully.)

A change: I moved back to my hometown today!

A conflict: My eating disorder was a nightmare this month.

A relief: I’m more at peace with myself being divided between art and writing.

A regret: I didn’t revise as much as I wanted to.

A random memory: I saw a husky puppy walking down the street one morning (with the owner, of course), and the puppy stopped by a signpost. The owner tugged at the leash, and the husky pranced up to him with a big stick in its mouth. Like, a huge stick. Which reminds me of another memory… A guy shouted outside and I looked out the window to see him carrying a branch that was literally twice his height. Big sticks make us happy, I suppose.

Onward to May! I’m hoping to visit my oldest brother, especially since his birthday is in the end of the month. I really want to see some mountains, so visiting him in Alberta would be fun—and I’d get to see my grandpa for the first time in probably a decade. There’s so much I can do with my time nowadays that I need to really hone my focus and work on my projects. Or, I can fall into the existential crisis that’s been lurking around since the beginning of the month. I’m hoping to try new things and test my dedication this upcoming month: jogging; finishing art projects; finishing writing projects; working on my relationships with friends, family, my boyfriend, and myself. It’ll be an adventure. Wish me luck!

Month In Review: March 2017

You know how some months fly by, and others drag by? March was just right. It didn’t pass quickly or slowly, but instead just… happened. There were some days and weeks that seemed to take forever to end, and others that ended faster than I thought possible. But everything balanced out, and here we are on the last day!

A celebration: Spring arrived and the weather is more enjoyable—which means my utility usage is slowly decreasing.

A change: No writing projects on the go this month.

A conflict: I had a manic episode for a week that ended up hurting me a lot.

A relief: My dad and I had some nice chats and he helped me keep my head on straight, and my anxiety levels were really, really low this month.

A regret: I didn’t create as much art as I wanted to.

A random memory: My friend and I finally saw Hidden Figures and it was an incredible film. We had a great discussion in her car afterward about civil rights, the changing views we’ve had as we’ve learned about our white privilege, and the different problematic perspectives of people we know.

April feels like it should be busy, since I’m moving; but I like packing and the move should go fine. I already have a “new” place to live—returning to my dad’s house—and my dad is supportive and helpful. (Insistently so.) I’m hoping my low anxiety continues through April. I’ll be happy to be back in my hometown by the start of May, since Windsor will get too hot and has too much pollution. Back home, I’ll be able to see the stars every night, and not be able to count them on my fingers and toes. Part of me wonders why I’m not sad to leave Windsor, but I know why I’m not sad to be leaving: I never intended to stay more than my allotted time here. I came for university. I finished university. It’s time to go.

Month In Review: February 2017

An open book with a calendar and a text overlay reading Month In Review: February 2017

Ah, February. I’ve never really enjoyed this month—it’s too short for my tastes. If we can have so many months with 31 days, why can’t February get 30 as well? Only 5 months really need an extra day to get to 365. I’m sure there are reasons for why certain months in certain calendars have X number of days, but I digress. The month is gone and we’re going to March!

A celebration: I finished my draft of THE PILGRIMAGE!

A change: The weather changed a lot—it was very warm and spring-like on a few days, even including a thunderstorm.

A conflict: I felt a lot of guilt for being so isolated from my friends and family.

A relief: My graduation application was sorted out completely (fingers crossed)!

A regret: I didn’t spend as much time brushing up on my coding skills.

A random memory: I helped my room mate bleach and dye her hair. It took about 2 hours, and the bathroom was surprisingly clean afterward. Her hair no longer looks like a blue-and-yellow cheetah print.

I hope March doesn’t go by quickly. Once April hits, I’ll be gunning to get ready to move—which means packing, scheduling utility turn-offs, and negotiating with the landlord for viewings. Here we go!

Month In Review: January 2017

An open book with a calendar and a text overlay reading Month In Review: January 2017

The first month of 2017 is done already? I’ll be honest: this month was a blur. I don’t have much to write on January… It’s been a strange, hazy thirty-one days. I’ll make my Months In Review quick this year, with a few lines to sum up highlights and woes of each month—and maybe a few sentences to add some flavour.

A celebration: I reached my word goal of 70,000 for The Pilgrimage!

A change: I moved to new accounts for a fresher start to a new tome of my life.

A conflict: My PTSD and dissociation were incredibly prevalent this month, which might be why I was in a haze most of the month.

A relief: My application to graduate from university was accepted!

A regret: I didn’t make as much art this month as I planned or hoped to do.

A random memory: At the convenience store, I happened to look up as a girl left and her earbuds fell out of her pocket. It took me about 2 seconds to put down my things, tell my boyfriend I’d be right back, and pick up the earbuds to go return them to her. She was just walking out of the parking lot and looked incredibly relieved when I handed them back to her.

Onward to February!

Month In Review: December 2016

December flew by. This month, I finished all of my classes for university and have officially completed my transcript! I won’t have my diploma until June 2017, but…

I’m done university!!!

I’m so thrilled to be done. It’ll be a tough road once I get into 2017. There are some administrative things that I need to do regarding my loan, which I’m not looking forward to. But I’m excited to set out on my journey into the workforce doing freelance projects.

Really, I spent most of the month in a blur. My dissociation has been very strong this month, along with my depression (both the mental illness depression and the return to my natural hormone cycle, since I stopped birth control last month). I did my studying and my exams, which all went well, and… can’t remember what else I did.

This week, I’ve been binge-watching a Chinese drama called Ice Fantasy (which you’d know if you follow me on Twitter #selfpromo), and let me tell ya… It has been incredible. I’ve been inspired by it so much. The show adapts a Chinese book, is produced in China, and stars an east-Asian cast (the main cast is all Chinese except for one Korean woman who has been phenomenal). It’s been refreshing to get away from all the European fantasy. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys fantasy.

I’m not going to talk much about Christmas. The holiday season is very, very difficult for me and my family. My main gift this year was a new keyboard. In October, the hand-me-down keyboard gave out, and I was borrowing one from my boyfriend’s family. But now… I have a new, very shiny mechanical keyboard. I picked the Corsair Strafe with brown switches so I could light up the keys differently depending on what I do. (Writing at night, the shortcuts I use the most in Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign… That kind of thing!) It’s so nice to have my own keyboard for the first time in my life. I’ve shared family computers, and I’ve been given hand-me-down keyboards when I got my desktop. So I love having a keyboard that only I will wear down.

I’m visiting family until some time in January, so my blog posts will be a bit less until then. I’ll probably get a New Year’s goals post out, like I did last year. I’m doing goals differently this year.

May we all find peace in some form, whether it is hope for the future or acceptance of the present, as we reach the end of 2016. ♥

Month In Review: November 2016

Thin wooden boards with contrasting light and dark brown colouring.

This past month, I took a break from the blog and social media, continued from October. I’d like to say that it made my life better, but it didn’t make much of a difference. A lot of other factors affected my health and well-being through November, so social media didn’t… have the same place it did before? I took the break in October because I was getting very attached to it and wasting a lot of time on it. But for November, it fell to the wayside very naturally and all my activity on it since then has felt okay.

I still miss my rabbit so much, but this isn’t my first grief and it’s by far the healthiest mourning I’ve done.

My month is a bit of a haze. I’m not sure what exactly I’ve been up to. I’ve mostly worked on school and tried not to let my body fall into ruin. I know I spent a lot of time entertaining myself with the Internet and video games. It was hard to get through the middle of my semester—I often lose motivation nearing the end of any type of task, and university has been no different. But! Only a week of classes, some exams, and then I’m done! I still need to wait to find out how to apply to graduate. I recently submitted a few forms to the Financial office at the university, since I’m not registering for classes in the Winter semester, and am waiting to see how they update my file. Unfortunately, the online applications to graduate aren’t open yet. This has made me incredibly frustrated, since I want to get the process going now and be on the way to officially finishing.

In fact, I’m so excited to be done school that I made a list of all the activities I like to do. Some of them, such as the writing and reading, are less “leisure” or “free time” activities once I’ll be done with school. Those activities are the ones that need priority. I’m so accustomed to setting aside all my hobbies during school that the free time will inevitably make me feel terrible for doing any of them. I need to remember, though: I have goals and it is productive to do anything that works toward those goals. Reading will no longer be leisurely. Writing will no longer be pushed to my “free time.” I’m so, so excited to be free of the educational institution. I’ve spent all of my life in schools and it’s time to get.

In December, I’m excited for…

  • Finishing my last semester of university (classes end on December 7 and my last exam is on December 21)!
  • Seeing my family again.
  • Taking the train in business class for the first time, which means I get a meal and, so my boyfriend says, wine.
  • Starting a new bullet journal! The 100-page, 6 x 9 inch book from Productive Luddite will run out by the time I finish classes, so I’ll start the new one in January for the new year! (Expect a blog post on that, heck yes).
  • Returning to blogging.