Month In Review: July 2018

This month, my therapist said very blankly, “You’re depressed.” He’s right. I’m still depressed. I’m having a bit of an identity crisis as well. This review is a little late into August, but that’s okay. I’ll have a recap of August soon too. Let’s get into what I remember about July.

A celebration: I’m still here and am definitely climbing out of my rock bottom. Slowly, very slowly, reaching up to the fresh air again.

A change: Preparing for moving again. Preparing for my family moving out of province. My mental health changing because of the stress and changes.

A conflict: I’m still struggling with the right dosage for my medication. I’m also trying to balance my health management with my creative projects, which has been hard to maintain.

A relief: I’ve found a medication dosage and frequency that works for my health, along with some short term therapy.

A regret: Lack of commitment to all my projects.

A random memory: I don’t have one. This is the part that upsets me the most. I don’t… really remember anything.

August means back to work, back to school, and back out in the world again. I’m trying to keep up.

Month In Review: June 2018

My motivation for June wasn’t the best. It felt like I lost a few weeks to my mental health. In my review for May, I mentioned some goals I had for June—and I didn’t achieve any of them. So here’s a bit on what I did instead. (Spoiler: not a lot.)

A celebration: I applied for a college certificate program. I start in September! It’s an 8-month art and design course.

A change: More renovation work at the house means lots of changes to my surroundings. The upcoming school program is also a change I need to prepare for.

A conflict: I’m still struggling with the right dosage for my medication. I’m also trying to balance my health management with my creative projects, which has been hard to maintain.

A relief: The time I’ve spent at the gym has helped with my health (mental and physical health).

A regret: My creative projects—art, writing, the blog—have not gotten the attention I wish I could have given them.

A random memory: There’s a young bunny that likes our yard and I see it outside at 8am and 8pm every time I’m looking out the window those times. It makes me happy and reminds me of my pet bunny. I’m glad the wildlife likes the property.

I have only a few goals for July: my book, my art, and my health. I’ll try and keep the blog updated! But it won’t be as active as my Patreon, where I’ll be posting more about my writing and drawings. Also: back into therapy!

Month In Review: May 2018

May wasn’t the best month for me. I didn’t have the right medication dose and frequency, so I was struggling with the wrong dose and then adjusting to the proper one once I got it. My moods were all over the place. I’ve also been having nightmares more often, which wake me up early in the morning or in the middle of the night, and then I dissociate until I can ground myself in reality again. If you read my last post, about ugly bullet journal spreads, my planning was subpar. May didn’t have any major stresses, but it was a lot of personal issues relating back to my moods that influenced the month. Ah, the joys of having mental illness… But let’s take a quick look at other parts of May.

A celebration: I launched a Patreon! This will be for sneak peeks, behind the scenes, and exclusive content as thanks for support—and also, mostly, as motivation for me.

A change: For the last 2 weeks of May, I took a social media hiatus, which will continue into June. I have an addictive personality (thanks, bipolar!) and social media can become addicting to me. This was a needed and welcome change.

A conflict: I had issues with my prescription, so I wasn’t at the appropriate dosage for a few weeks. Then, I needed to adjust to the proper amount. I struggled with the adjustment and getting into a schedule/routine.

A relief: I got a job! Working for my own business is a job, but I got another part-time job that will hopefully help me over the next while.

A regret: Less writing than I wish I had done! This is a big pattern of regrets and problems for me. I’m not prioritising my writing as much as I’m prioritising other things.

A random memory: We had a massive wind storm in Ontario at the start of the month. It rained, and then the sun shone while the wind blew through in my town. I was out for a walk (returning a library book) and on my way home when I heard a tree cracking. I stopped and looked around—and then the tree fell down in front of me to block the whole road. A spider also fell on me in the wind right before the tree fell. The tree scared me more than the spider.

I’m feeling more hopeful for June. Some of my plans include signing up for a gym membership, finally finishing edits for The Pilgrimage, starting beta reading and sensitivity reading for The Pilgrimage, and making some adjustments to my website! Offline, the yard needs a lot of work, so I’ll be outside reclaiming the property from the overgrowth. I also have an announcement at the start of June, so stay tuned for that. I won’t be looking forward to the heat of summer, but a new month is a great time to start fresh with goals. Let’s hope I don’t burn out or get sunburned!

Month In Review: April 2018

April felt incredibly long, but not sluggish like March. I think I experienced all four seasons’ worth of weather—winter, fall, summer, and spring. But mostly winter. I had lots of small projects to work on, so I was fairly busy, but thankfully not overwhelmed. I can’t reveal everything I did this month, but much of it relates back to my artistic creating!

A celebration: I managed to get over the hardest parts of my revision of The Pilgrimage! Chapters 5 to 9 needed to be completely rewritten from nothing, and I finished them!

A change: The status of my employment changed! This is a good change.

A conflict: It still felt like winter all month long. It snowed for a week straight at one point and I was so done with it. I love winter so much, but when I lasts from November to the end of April? Half a year of winter? No fucking thank you.

A relief: I spent a week out of town and it ended up feeling like a mini-vacation. I traveled 2 hours away from my hometown and where I stayed was filled with grass, sunshine, and the beginning of spring!

A regret: The Pilgrimage didn’t get finished this month. I’ve been trying to finish it for a year now. I’m trying not to beat myself up over it, but I’m eager to finish so I can start Avatar Five, another fantasy novel-length project.

A random memory: I went to a dog park with my pal and his family dog (Alaskan Malamute, I love her), and we got a little lost on the way home. We were walking in a path and I almost stepped on a gartner snake. They’re relatively harmless to humans, so I paused and gave it some distance. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a snake in the wild, but I recognised it as the same kind that used to hang around my old house. (My friend is scared of snakes and went ahead with the pupper.)

Overall, April was a full month. I came home to warmer weather, made a pact to get back into jogging now that I can, and I’m feeling optimistic about May.

Hello 2018!

Welcome to March. Welcome to the new website! I’m so, so pleased that I finally got a design done for the site. I’ve been using a premade theme since I launched the blog at the start of 2016. Now, after all this time, my hand-coded theme is up. It also came with some rebranding to make my social media presence (on Twitter and Facebook) more “me” and cohesive with the website.

As of right now, I do not have the mobile site ready, so if you are a mobile reader, I apologise! Over the next little while, I’ll code the responsive design and (hopefully) seamlessly integrate it. I also don’t have my portfolio up, but that will be coming over the next month.

Let me know how you like the new design! It feels very “on brand” for me and who I feel I am as a person. If you encounter any glitches with it, please let me know here or on Twitter or any of my listed social media!

Anyway, where have I been since December? Let’s review, ok ok.

Month In Review: January 2018

I’ll be honest, January feels so far away to me. I remember I did driving lessons and that it was very cold most of the month. I’ve decided to be fairly private with my goals, at least for the first while of the year, but I’ll share one. I aim to submit to one literary magazine or journal each month of this year.

A celebration: I submitted some of my writing to a literary magazine!

A change: I spent less time on social media.

A conflict: My mental health was not the greatest this month.

A relief: I am decently medicated. That’s really the only relief I feel.

A regret: My driving test was cancelled and rescheduled to February.

A random memory: I had a guy on a dating app interrogate me about my mental illness, which I’m open about on these types of things, and then (after a few messages all on one day) had him decide that I was not mentally ill. He also sent me a ridiculously long poem AND a ridiculously long message about him being a “wanderer”; I thought it was all incredibly pathetic.

Month In Review: February 2018

It feels like spring came very early by the end of February, and I’m not complaining about it. The unfortunate cause is global climate change, but I can go outside without it being an immediate danger to myself, so I’m okay.

A celebration: I wrote another piece for submission!

A change: The website and my online brand got a refresh, which I love. I technically finished it at the start of March, but the design was finalised in February and the last few days were small-change-city.

A conflict: I feel insecure financially and it makes me very nervous for the future.

A relief: I passed my G2 driving test and can now drive alone.

A regret: I didn’t edit as much as I wanted to. I completed 2 chapters, but then the editing went to the backburner as I got into the thick of redesigning.

A random memory: My family spontaneously got together for a meal out at a restaurant. It was lovely, and we scheduled for another one in March. I think my dad wants to make it a habit to catch up with his kids, and I’m all for it.


I’m back now, so prepare yourselves for more blogging! I’ve brainstormed so many posts and ideas. I feel confident that my content is going to improve over the next few months. I’ve had time to work on the purpose for this blog, and now that I’m completely out of school, I can devote more time to it.

My freelancing business will be the main focus for my online presence, including the website. The last year has been incredible, working with writers and reading their stories. I’m so proud of each of them and what they’ve done with their writing. I’m excited to work with more people and do more creative projects with new writers!

Month In Review: December 2017

December was very cold and went by very quickly, yikes.

A celebration: I spent time with family and friends, all of which was awesome.

A change: I spent 2 weeks on a half-dose of my medication, and that was awful (and I’m back on my regular dose). At least that means my full dose works.

A conflict: None of my goals and projects were worked on this month.

A relief: I scheduled all of my driving lessons, which means I can get ready to schedule my driving test to get my G2 license.

A regret: No blogging or story editing this month, again.

A random memory: I went ice skating with a friend and fell flat on my ass. True Canadian style, especially with little kids under five years old skating better than me and passing me on the rink.

The new year is upon us and I’m ready to tackle my goals!

Month In Review: November 2017

November is come and gone. I’ve still felt withdrawn, but less introspective than I did at the start of the month.

A celebration: I released my poetry collection! You can find it on Amazon, but here’s a page with all the links where you can buy it in Kindle and paperback formats!

A change: The sun is setting before 5PM and I’m so annoyed.

A conflict: The weather has been so up and down lately! I haven’t been comfortable running when I want to because of how cold it’s gotten.

A relief: I purchased winter running gear (long-sleeve sport tech shirt and a windbreaker) that have been phenomenal at keeping me dry and warm.

A regret: No blogging this month. Barely any editing, too.

A random memory: I shared something in therapy and was awestruck by how everyone validated my feelings about what I shared. It was nice.

I’m struggling to manage all the projects I want to do, but the website is something I’m aiming to revamp soon, including the blog. I’ll probably start the new year with a different theme and blogging routine. Same goes for my editing services. I’m revamping what I offer once 2018 comes around. I plan not to blog through December, but I’ll be sure to finish the year off with both month and year in review posts.

Month In Review: October 2017

A celebration: My dad got married!

A change: The season. It got cold very quickly.

A conflict: Inner turmoil. Feelings of not being good enough. But also not giving a fuck if I can’t meet my own standards.

A relief: Therapy.

A regret: Not a lot of blogging.

A random memory: I sat on my lawn for a while just watching a wild bunny eat. This little act made me remember my bunny, who passed away a year ago, and feel more connected with the cycle of life, death, nature, and humanity. By far the best random memory I’ve had this month.

Onward to November. I’m feeling very withdrawn, though you could also say I’m feeling very introspective. That’s the reason why my blog posts have been lacking this month. But I’m not forcing anything to happen. Just taking it one day at a time and trying to find myself again.

Month In Review: September 2017

September is gone and it doesn’t really feel like autumn yet because of the outrageous heat wave we experienced in Southern Ontario. Climate change is awful, everyone. I will not survive this kind of heat on a daily basis in the future, ugh.

Anyway! I didn’t really get up to much in September. It feels like I kind of drifted through the weeks.

A celebration: I signed up for both driver’s ed and a mindfulness CBT program! Driver’s ed has gone well (2 more classes) and the MCBT program starts in the middle of October and goes to the end of the year.

A change: My medication was increased, thankfully.

A conflict: I struggled with time management and am still feeling awful about it.

A relief: I did more exercise this month!

A regret: I didn’t achieve any of the writing goals I set for myself.

A random memory: I saw my eye doctor for a check-up, since I needed a new prescription, and forgot he was verrry attractive. My eyes are also in great shape, and I get new lenses and frames on October 3. But anyway, my ophthamologist is a real looker.

October is my favourite month, even if it also has the anniversary of my rabbit’s death. I’m feeling a little optimistic about this month. I have a new planner, I have a lot of goals, and my medication is doing wonderfully at keeping me motivated and focused. (Now, at least; it’s been a week and a half on the increased dosage and I’m just now getting into the flow of things.)

My birthday is on Friday the 6th, by the way. 😉

Month In Review: August 2017

Oh jeez, I didn’t blog… at all in August. This happens sometimes, and you know what? Time to move on! I can’t go back and make August content when tomorrow is September.

A celebration: My poetry collection is done and now it just needs to be assembled and published.

A change: Impromptu break from blogging this month, haha.

A conflict: I think my medication needs to be upped to a higher dose.

A relief: My medication is working and I’m doing better when it comes to actually… doing things.

A regret: I didn’t blog much or edit my novel this month, nooo!

A random memory: I went camping for a week and there was a deer that just trotted onto the campsite while I was tending to the fire. It gave zero shits whatsoever.

I’m looking forward to September. I have a few appointments with the doctor the first week, one of which concerns my medication. I’m aiming to get more blog posts up about my experience on the antipsychotics! I have a few projects that I want to get back on the ground and work on, too. I’m trying not to think too far ahead to October, since there’s a lot going on in that month, but it’s hard to focus on the present sometimes.

Onward to fall! Give me cooler weather, please! I want to go running regularly!