May wasn’t the best month for me. I didn’t have the right medication dose and frequency, so I was struggling with the wrong dose and then adjusting to the proper one once I got it. My moods were all over the place. I’ve also been having nightmares more often, which wake me up early in the morning or in the middle of the night, and then I dissociate until I can ground myself in reality again. If you read my last post, about ugly bullet journal spreads, my planning was subpar. May didn’t have any major stresses, but it was a lot of personal issues relating back to my moods that influenced the month. Ah, the joys of having mental illness… But let’s take a quick look at other parts of May.
A celebration: I launched a Patreon! This will be for sneak peeks, behind the scenes, and exclusive content as thanks for support—and also, mostly, as motivation for me.
A change: For the last 2 weeks of May, I took a social media hiatus, which will continue into June. I have an addictive personality (thanks, bipolar!) and social media can become addicting to me. This was a needed and welcome change.
A conflict: I had issues with my prescription, so I wasn’t at the appropriate dosage for a few weeks. Then, I needed to adjust to the proper amount. I struggled with the adjustment and getting into a schedule/routine.
A relief: I got a job! Working for my own business is a job, but I got another part-time job that will hopefully help me over the next while.
A regret: Less writing than I wish I had done! This is a big pattern of regrets and problems for me. I’m not prioritising my writing as much as I’m prioritising other things.
A random memory: We had a massive wind storm in Ontario at the start of the month. It rained, and then the sun shone while the wind blew through in my town. I was out for a walk (returning a library book) and on my way home when I heard a tree cracking. I stopped and looked around—and then the tree fell down in front of me to block the whole road. A spider also fell on me in the wind right before the tree fell. The tree scared me more than the spider.
I’m feeling more hopeful for June. Some of my plans include signing up for a gym membership, finally finishing edits for The Pilgrimage, starting beta reading and sensitivity reading for The Pilgrimage, and making some adjustments to my website! Offline, the yard needs a lot of work, so I’ll be outside reclaiming the property from the overgrowth. I also have an announcement at the start of June, so stay tuned for that. I won’t be looking forward to the heat of summer, but a new month is a great time to start fresh with goals. Let’s hope I don’t burn out or get sunburned!